This week has been such an emotional roller-coaster.
First, we found out that our second beta test was great.
It looked like the pregnancy was doing great so far. See this post.
Then, Nicole called me crying yesterday saying that she was bleeding.
I reassured her that it was normal. Ten minutes later, she called back saying that she was bleeding heavy and clotting. My heart dropped. We were both crying. I just thought, “No, no, no, no, no, no. Not again. How can this be happening?” She said she was going to the clinic in Charlottesville, so I told her I would try to get there. I called my friend Cindy and she offered to take me. I emailed and texted many people on the way up and asked for prayers.
We arrived at almost the same time. We went up and sat down in the waiting room. Nicole got a glass of water, but could hardly hold it because she was trembling. I was scared, shaken and worried. But, at the same time, I wasn’t really thinking miscarriage. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I had hope. Looking back, I am convinced that I was able to get through the day because so many people were praying and literally lifting me up. I never really understood truly what that meant until yesterday. God was lifting me up in very scary circumstances.
After what we’ve been through, bleeding has always resulted in miscarriage. It brings back the most devastating and poignant emotions. So, for me to able to walk on my own two feet, and have any hope, was a miracle.
We went back to the room. Nicole had to bring Natalie, her 10-month-old, with her. Natalie is going through a Mommy stage and wants to be with Nicole at all times. She didn’t want to sit in her stroller, so we put her up on the table to lay with Nicole while I held her so she wouldn’t roll off.
Natalie cried when they turned the lights off. The doctor started looking around with the ultrasound. I was teary, half looking at the screen, mind racing and trying to calm Natalie. I prayed. I blinked back tears. Later, of course, I realized that Natalie was a wonderful distraction.
Then, Dr. Smith said everything looks good and there are two babies!
Both implanted! My heart leaped with joy for a moment. Thank God!
And, then, I remembered being in the very same room once before in the same situation, hearing our baby’s heart beat for the very first time and hearing the doctor simultaneously say, “You’re threatening to miscarry.”
Even though things look good for now, I will be choking back fear every step of the way. That is what five miscarriages will do to you. Only by God’s grace and mercy will I get through this.
We have since heard that many women pregnant with twins experience scary heavy bleeding, but go on to have healthy babies. Anyone have stories to share?
But, for now, we are so thankful. Thankful that everything looks ok. Thankful that there are TWO babies!