‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (IVF style)

December 21, 2010

‘Twas the day of the transfer and out the door we went,
My hormones were raging and I felt emotionally spent.
The stockings were hung by the stirrups with care,
In hopes that a baby soon would be there.

The nurse was prepping and readying the bed,
While visions of implantation danced in my head.
Me in my paper gown, and my husband in his cap,
I was getting ready to settle down for my Valium nap.

When out in the waiting room there arose such a clatter,
My husband sprang from the OR to see what was the matter.
Down the hall he flew like a flash,
Ran into the receptionist and gave her the cash.

The florescent light beamed down from the ceiling above,
Giving the lustre of paleness to my true love.
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
A man in a white coat and I felt nothing but fear.

With a look in his eye that said nothing was missed,
I knew in a moment it must be my reproductive endocrinologist.
More rapid than pregnancy news, his assistants they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

“Now Betty! now, Alice! now, Sally and Sue!”
“On, Donna! On, Margaret! on, on Kelly and Drew!”
“Get the embryologist in here. Get her right away.”
“We’re ready to do this! I hope this will be your lucky day!”

As we said a prayer and everyone got ready,
The doctor pulled the catheter trigger and held it real steady.
So, up to the uterine lining it flew,
With a shot full of embryos and culture solution, too.

And then, in a twinkling, I knew I desperately needed to pee,
I said, “My bladder is about to explode, don’t you see?”
As I wiggled and squirmed and looked for my man,
I turned just in time to see him coming with a bed pan.

He was dressed in paper footies and was as handsome as ever,
I sighed in relief and immediately felt better.
I laid still for 20 minutes while he watched the clock,
Then, in someone came.  “You can get up,” said the doc.

But his eyes, they were serious,
He said, “There’s something we need to discuss.”
“Lay still for three days, before you get up and go,”
“You must give those embryos time to burrow in and grow.”

So off we went as my husband wheeled me away,
Back to car and we were on our way.
I laid in the backseat and looked at the embryo picture,
And, hoped with all my might that God might hear my whisper.

I felt chubby and plump, from all the hormones,
And, then thought of tomorrow’s injections with a groan.
With a wink of my eye and a twist of my head,
I knew the two-week-wait would be something to dread.

When we arrived back home, my mom went straight to her work,
She made a great lunch, then turned with a jerk.
She said, “You just lay there to relax and rest.”
“Leave everything to me and don’t you stress.”

With two weeks to wait and Lovenox to endure,
We readied ourselves for heartache some more.
I stressed about my symptoms and missed a glass of wine,
Then we prepared for the big test and we hoped for two lines.


This is dedicated to all of my IF, IVF, and pregnancy loss friends.  I love you guys!


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  • Just stopping by from ICLW (#100). I’m so sorry for your long journey. I’m beginning my 4th IVF cycle next month and am very scared. I hope that this next one is the final one for you! Best wishes and happy holidays. I love your poem, btw!

  • I love the poem! It is so well written and all so sadly true! =)

  • That is so great!!! Did you come up with that on your own! Super creative!

  • Love the poem! Ha ha!

  • Krista

    What a great poem! You are definitely talented! Merry Christmas! I’ll be crossing my fingers that this cycle is the ONE for you!!!

  • Very creative! I love it! Sending continued good vibes to you for this cycle:)

  • Faith

    Hahaha! i loved this!!! Thoroughly enjoyed your poem.

    good luck on your cycle

  • AP

    My fingers are crossed for you!! I hope it works and you can start a family tradition of reading your poem every Christmas Eve.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. Looking forward to getting to know you.

  • Sarah

    Great poem!! Very well written!!

    May 2011 bring you joy and happiness!!

    Happy Holidays and Happy ICLW

  • Lex

    I love the poem, it’s great!

  • Patricia

    My continued prayer is a child for you both.

  • Lu

    Incredibly clever! Love it! Maybe we should team up and write some infertility Xmas songs next!

  • Stopping by from LFCA.

    ‘Tis was fantastic!

  • That was very cleaver … loved reading it. Thanks for sharing!!

    Happy ICLW from #37 and HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

  • This is great – and so true!

  • Thank you, what a lovely poem. You are very creative. Poetry helps, doesn’t it.

  • C

    Love it! I did my own version of infertile NFBX-mas yesterday too! (ICL #52

  • marilyn

    this is wonderful!! I love it! I am going to print it and put it on my fridge- I want to tell everyone who reads my blog about your poem..can I?

  • oh yeah..good luck…my fingers are crossed..please keep us posted…

  • That was seriously awesome!

    Happy December ICLW!

  • Hope you had an amazing Christmas and that 2011 is finally the year you get a lovely rainbow baby! Lots of love from ICLW #110

  • This is Sooooo perfectly clever!! More, MORE!! LOL

    Happy ICLW!!

  • I saw this on Marilyn’s blog and just HAD to follow you. I’m just now “officially” starting my infertility journey. It’s scary. Thanks for shedding some light on the IVF monster.

    Meara at Not Twenty-seven Yet

  • June Gregory

    I’ll keep my fingers crossed & pray that this will be the one for you.

  • Love this!!!!! Thank you!