Our surrogate dreams may not be over yet.
I have debated and debated about posting about this.
I have shared every intimate detail of my life on here thus far. So, what’s changed?
I don’t know. I guess I have taken a hiatus from infertility for a while and maybe I feel like if I talk about it, it will rule my life again. Also, I like being on hiatus from infertility. I guess I am feeling better overall and therefore don’t need to let my feelings constantly spill out of me in the form of typed words to feel better. I guess I’m scared, too. I’m afraid to jinx something.
But, I know that’s silly. If this is God’s plan, then it will be so. Silly jinxing hocus pocus has nothing to do with it.
So, here goes. A girl randomly contacted me about a month ago and she found me through this website. She offered to be our surrogate. Everything about the situation is great. She is the absolute sweetest, cutest thing. She’s young and healthy. She has great insurance. And, she’s moving sort-of close to us soon. (At least we hope…it’s almost sure…but a little complicated.)
Her name is my middle name. She has two adorable kids.
It just doesn’t seem real. I am in constant contact with her and she’s a new friend, but it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that she could be our miracle.
It’s hard to imagine that a complete stranger sought me out and feels called to do this. It’s hard to imagine that she was so touched by our story that she wants to do this for us. It’s hard to imagine that this connection happened because of this website.
While I have one eye on the future, I still have one on the past. I am hopeful, but scared.
(If you know me in real life, please keep this quiet. We are not ready to discuss this just yet, but we would appreciate your prayers.)