Infertility

Reflecting

March 11, 2014

On this day one year ago, our surrogate told us that she had taken a positive pregnancy test.

We were so elated and hopeful. Thinking back to how we were feeling is incredibly emotional. I have been shocked at how emotional I am today.

I think I am finally realizing this is all over.  Life has been crazy and wonderful and a total blur as well.  I am just now processing it all.

It’s over.

I don’t have to constantly wonder if I will ever be a parent. I don’t have to do any more hormone injections. I don’t have to debate whether or not to keep trying. I don’t have to drive 6 hours round-trip to the reproductive endocrinologist for every visit.  I don’t have to suffer another miscarriage (God willing). I don’t have to wonder if I will burst into tears for an untimely pregnancy announcement.  There’s so much that was a part of my life that I don’t have to do any more.

Sure, I will still remember it all and certain things will sting every now and again.  But, not like they used to.

It’s actually over.  I feel like I can stop holding my breath and finally exhale and let it all go.  All of the pent up frustration, sadness, anger.  It can all go.

It’s crazy to think about all that we went through and we had no idea if it would ever work out.  But, we did it anyway, even when things seemed bleak.  We are one of the lucky ones.  We made it through.  Through our own persistence, through being lucky to afford treatment, through the ultimate kindness of a young woman and by the grace of God.

Infertility sucks so bad and now my heart hurts for everyone out there that is struggling.

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  • Chris P.

    You should also reflect on the hundreds, maybe thousands of women you stood up for, and fought for and encouraged; and whose stories you listened to with real understanding. THAT’S part of your story, too. Chris P.

    • Whitney

      Thanks, Chris!

  • Jessica Tennant

    What a beautiful comment below! I am so glad that it is over, that you made it “to the other side” after a long hard fight and fighting so hard for everyone else in the same trenches. I love the picture of your cribs, for some reason it made me feel incredibly warm inside and hopeful that maybe I will make it to the other side, too. Thank you for all you do!

  • Andrea Ramsay

    All i can say is a thank you to Dr zogo for making me and my family a
    happy home, i have been married for 2 years without a child and i had 4
    miscarriage within this time, i saw a post that says contact Dr zogo for
    Infertility help, so i did, after he cast a pregnancy spell on me i get
    pregnant few weeks later, and i am 7 months pregnant now without any
    complications and a full post after my delivering, so i decide to drop
    this here for any body going through infertility problem to contact Dr
    zogo on zogospellcasters@gmail.com and you will be happy you did.