Infertility, Our Infertility story

In limbo

May 24, 2011

We are in the middle of our final cycle, our last try. This is #6 and it’s been very challenging so far.

Immune Treatment

We are staying with our clinic here, but hoping to use Dr. S’s immune treatment protocol.  Dr. S agreed to consult with my doctor.  Then, my doctor agreed to consider it.  My doctor wanted a letter, but Dr. Ss wanted my doctor to call.  So, my doctor’s been trying to call to no avail.  And, I’m getting close to when I will need the treatment, so I don’t have much time left.  The constant following up on both sides is stressing me out and annoying because there is nothing I can do to just get it done.

So, at this point, we don’t know if we’re going to the get the treatment that Dr. S thinks I need.   And, I’m pretty sure this is it for trying for us.  So, it’s pretty frustrating to think that we might not even get to try this.  Even if my doctors finally do talk, I don’t know if my doctor will absolutely prescribe it for me.  He does not believe in immune issues as related to fertility.

But, my doctor has made every effort to be accommodating and tried multiple times to get in touch with Dr. S. I’m very impressed with my doctor’s professionalism, willingness to help, etc.  I’ve emailed nurses, the doctor, administrative assistants.  I’m trying to be the squeaky wheel, but it’s not working.

I’m so tired of fighting for every little detail of this.  It’s hard because I just want to be done with all of this, but I don’t want to get lazy at the end after we’ve come this far.  But, I’m also powerless as to the fate of our treatment at this point.  In limbo, as always.

My own setback

And, to make matters worse, I messed up with my meds the other day.  I was supposed to start a new drug and started three days late.  This is so unlike me. I even have a spreadsheet!  I just had a particular day in my head that I thought was the day, but it wasn’t.  So, now my transfer is delayed another week and I get 7 more injections out of it. Oh, joy.  Some days, I just feel like the universe is fighting me every step of the way and I wonder if I’m fighting a tough battle or an impossible one.  I just want to give us the best chance possible for this last try.  So, for now, I power on and keep fighting.  And, it is, indeed, a fight every day.


At the same time, we are still considering adoption and trying to wrap our minds around it.  Researching agencies is scary and overwhelming.  Again, I just feel TIRED and emotionally drained, so it’s hard for me to really go at adoption full-swing right now, especially while in treatment.  Any suggestions from anyone who has adopted or who’s in the process are welcome.

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  • ebc

    ugh…ivf should come with a personal advocate and secretary to help with coordination and battle fighting.

    as for the adoption question, we thoroughly checked it out in the fall before our last ivt attempt. if you are interested in exploring private/independent (same thing…either word–not allowed in all states, but allowed in va) adoption, there is great workshop that explains it from start to finish. it’s held in northern va/dc by the group families.for.private.adoption, and tells all about va state policies and process and helps you connect with a wonderful support community. if you are solely interested in an agency adoption then often times there are adoption fairs that will have booths and representatives from local agencies that provides a nice one stop shop along with workshops about the process before, during and after. again, i know there’s one in the northern va/dc area held a few times a year, but if you want something closer to your area you might try googling that sort of thing as a good starting ground.

  • C

    That is soooo frustrating. I wish the two doctor’s offices would get their shizz together and help you out 🙁 And meds drama on top. But really, waht would an IVF cycle be without meds drama?

  • I’m sorry to hear it’s all been so difficult. Can your doctor email Dr.Sher?

    Sending good thoughts your way! *hugs*

  • Sorry this has been such a difficult cycle!! Thinking of you and wishing you success!!

    FWIW, the agency we are hoping to work with told us that in their experience, it is really difficult for people to process adoption and IVF/FET at the same time, since those are two really stressful things. It’s great that you’re doing some of the adoption prep work now, and I think it’s totally to be expected that you’re still working your way through it.

    I try to be pretty vague about our adoption journey on my blog, but if you ever want to talk about it in more detail, feel free to email me. We’re just at the very beginning, too, so I’m not sure how much help I can be, but I’m happy to share what I’ve learned so far.

    Good luck!

  • C

    I hope you can get everything worked out to do the immune protocol for this cycle. I have a lot of immune issues and thoroughly believe that the immune protocol I was on (heparin, intralipids, etc) made all the difference.

    Thinking of you!

  • Jen

    The agencies we interviewed also suggested holding off on starting the adoption process until you’re done “trying”. It’s just too stressful to do all of it, and to be honest, it’s the last thing you need when you’re in a cycle. We looked at a few agencies in MD, and two of them are nationwide (Bethany Christian and Catholic Charities), and we were all set to apply with Catholic Charities when our insurance changed and we got another shot at IVF. Best of luck to you, happy ICLW!!!

    ICLW #121

  • I am so sorry those doctors are not connecting and you are caught in the middle. There might be a positive in delaying things a week: you get more time for them to connect. But whatever happens just know you have done all you can.
    Sending hugs and best wishes.

  • I’m so sorry your doc isn’t connecting with Sher – it will happen! And nice work for being proactive and doing everything you can… Good luck!

  • Sorry you’re having such a hard time getting the doctors together…can’t imagine how stressful that must be. Hoping and praying things work for you this time…it’s great that you’re considering other options as well…
    Big hugs to you…