We are in the middle of our final cycle, our last try. This is #6 and it’s been very challenging so far.
We are staying with our clinic here, but hoping to use Dr. S’s immune treatment protocol. Dr. S agreed to consult with my doctor. Then, my doctor agreed to consider it. My doctor wanted a letter, but Dr. Ss wanted my doctor to call. So, my doctor’s been trying to call to no avail. And, I’m getting close to when I will need the treatment, so I don’t have much time left. The constant following up on both sides is stressing me out and annoying because there is nothing I can do to just get it done.
So, at this point, we don’t know if we’re going to the get the treatment that Dr. S thinks I need. And, I’m pretty sure this is it for trying for us. So, it’s pretty frustrating to think that we might not even get to try this. Even if my doctors finally do talk, I don’t know if my doctor will absolutely prescribe it for me. He does not believe in immune issues as related to fertility.
But, my doctor has made every effort to be accommodating and tried multiple times to get in touch with Dr. S. I’m very impressed with my doctor’s professionalism, willingness to help, etc. I’ve emailed nurses, the doctor, administrative assistants. I’m trying to be the squeaky wheel, but it’s not working.
I’m so tired of fighting for every little detail of this. It’s hard because I just want to be done with all of this, but I don’t want to get lazy at the end after we’ve come this far. But, I’m also powerless as to the fate of our treatment at this point. In limbo, as always.
My own setback
And, to make matters worse, I messed up with my meds the other day. I was supposed to start a new drug and started three days late. This is so unlike me. I even have a spreadsheet! I just had a particular day in my head that I thought was the day, but it wasn’t. So, now my transfer is delayed another week and I get 7 more injections out of it. Oh, joy. Some days, I just feel like the universe is fighting me every step of the way and I wonder if I’m fighting a tough battle or an impossible one. I just want to give us the best chance possible for this last try. So, for now, I power on and keep fighting. And, it is, indeed, a fight every day.
At the same time, we are still considering adoption and trying to wrap our minds around it. Researching agencies is scary and overwhelming. Again, I just feel TIRED and emotionally drained, so it’s hard for me to really go at adoption full-swing right now, especially while in treatment. Any suggestions from anyone who has adopted or who’s in the process are welcome.