Infertility, Our Infertility story, Surrogacy

Half Capacity

February 7, 2013

I have been on stimulation drugs for 11 days now.  Unfortunately, my right ovary didn’t produce many eggs and the ones that are there are small and haven’t matured properly.  We didn’t understand why this was.  I thought it was simply a factor of age for me, at this point, since I’m 35.  However, I remembered this morning that I had an x-ray of my right hip in early December.  Surely, that’s not a coincidence?  I am so, so upset and angry at myself.

I just heard from my doctor and he doesn’t think this is the problem.  He said that they do hysterosalpinograms (HSG) all the time and never see any correlation with ovarian response afterwards.  Oh, right, HSGs…yea, I forgot about that.  Whew! I feel slightly better, but the results are still the same.

This is absolutely not what we needed right now.  We need enough eggs to make enough embryos to make it to day 5 blastocyst stage and enough to have a chance to find a normal one with the CGH testing. I am very concerned about this now. We purposefully treated aggressively this time knowing we needed more eggs.  We treated aggressively even though we know I get OHSS.  And, now, it sort of feels like it was for nothing?  It would be worth it to me to get a bad case of OHSS if I got really good results, but without good results…

I’m just so over all of this right now — the 4-hour drive every day to my clinic, the injections, the emotional roller-coaster, the uncomfortable and swollen abdomen and shelling out thousands of dollars every time I turn around.

This whole process is just draining, especially when it’s our 7th time and we have so much riding on the outcome.  This is it! This is our very last shot. I just want to hold up my end of the deal and then pass the baton to our wonderful and amazing surrogate.

The egg retrieval is tomorrow.  I am just hoping and praying for healthy, normal mature eggs on the left side and maybe even a few that made it on the right.  And, of course, I’m hoping that the OHSS won’t be really bad.  Based on how I feel right now and the fact that my estradiol level was higher than it’s even been yesterday, I think that’s doubtful.  But, I’m hoping and praying anyway.

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  • Connie

    I am praying for you!

    • Whitney Anderson

      Thanks, Connie. 🙂

  • Amy

    Rooting for you and hoping like hell that those eggs do what they need to do, and that you don’t end up miserable with OHSS. I feel like I should all-caps that entire sentence, but I will settle for: seriously, rooting REALLY HARD for you!!

    • Whitney Anderson

      Thank you! That means so much. Ended up with mild OHSS, but feeling better now. Just waiting for Day 5 embryo report tomorrow!

  • Dad

    You know that you are in our prayers and I wish I could transfer all the pain and discomfort to me to relieve you of all of this suffering. I think it is for a good reason this time. We love you! Mom and Dad

  • Heather

    Praying like mad for you xxx that these embryos are just as they should be.

    • Whitney Anderson

      Thank you, Heather! XO

  • sorry you are having such a difficult time. I did one month of injections $2400, one mature egg, didn’t get pregnant so just trying naturally because I was exhausted. you are dedicated

    • Whitney Anderson

      Thank you. Yes, it has not been easy. It sometimes amazes me to think about our story and what we’ve been through. It seems crazy.

  • Jessica Tennant

    I hope that retrieval went well and you are not suffering from OHSS. I hope you were pleasantly surprised by the “harvest”– I’m rooting for you, bigtime!

    • Whitney Anderson

      Thank you so much! I did end up getting mild OHSS, but no big deal.

  • Pepper

    Hoping for the best and sending positive juju!

    • Whitney Anderson

      Thank you!