The picture above is my family, who happen to be my best friends.
Today, a friend of mine in an infertility support group brought up the fact that some of her friends had not been very understanding of her plight. These friends of hers were normal women who had never experienced infertility themselves.
It was kind of a sensitive subject for me in light of something that had happened recently. Unfortunately, I don’t feel comfortable sharing it here just in case she were to be reading. I can’t believe the lack of perspective that some people have and can’t believe the things that come out of some people’s mouths.
Let’s just say that I wouldn’t complain about having to get a flu shot to someone who just had surgery. I wouldn’t complain about my unimaginable grief over losing my pet hamster to someone who just said goodbye to their spouse/mother/father. I wouldn’t complain about my shoe budget being too small to someone who can barely pay their rent. The result of these types of comments leave me feeling like my struggle has been minimized and the person doesn’t care.
This conversation with my friend also got me thinking that most of the insensitivity that has come my way has usually been from others either just beginning to struggle with infertility or even those that have struggled for a while. I think that’s pretty sad and backwards. So, three cheers for my “normal” friends and family who are so supportive. And, boo for the girls out there that ought to know better.
I’m also sad to say that I’ve been used for my infertility. That sounds weird, right? It is. I have had several friends with whom I have bonded over infertility and other things. Then, when they no longer had problems or resolved their infertility, they literally dropped me like a hot potato. It was pretty upsetting in each case. It seemed that they no longer needed me and instead of sticking around to provide some reciprocal support, they hightailed it right away from me. Like my friend said, “I don’t like people only around for the good times or only the bad times.” I couldn’t agree more and I guess I’m better off without those friends anyway.
Luckily, for every one girl that’s behaved badly, there’s been about ten good ones.
Update on our surrogacy situation: We have started the process of the the legal requirements and hit a snag. :/ I wish I could be more forthcoming about it, but I just can’t. My wonderful surrogate is such a trooper and is so selfless with her time and energy for us. We feel so bad that she has to jump through hoops for us, but are so grateful to her and her family. We are hoping and praying that this step will be worked out and resolved soon. If you are the praying type, we sure would appreciate your prayers for both her and us.