Infertility, Our Infertility story, Surrogacy

Adversity knocks

March 9, 2012

No time to revel in our newfound success over finding a great surrogate.

All plans have come to a grinding halt after my doctor called me this morning.

I am in what’s called an IVF Success program.  I have paid a set fee and the program covers four fresh IVF cycles and unlimited frozen ones in between. Even though I have done this six times, only two of those were fresh cycles.  The idea is that if after completing all four tries, if you don’t bring a baby home from the hospital, then you get a full refund or a partial refund at any time for self-withdrawal.  Before considering surrogacy, this was a problem as we decided to cease treatment as we felt I would keep miscarrying.  So, no chance of completing two more egg retrievals and getting a full refund.  However, after surrogacy started being thrown around, much to my surprise, we were led to believe that it would be included.  It would just be considered another fresh cycle and we’d tag team the surrogate when it came time for the transfer. Makes sense.

Well, now I’m being told that my IVF program may not cover surrogacy.  Surrogacy is not addressed in the IVF Success Program contract.  So, my clinic plans to have a committee meeting to discuss it and will get back to me after everyone returns from vacation, in a week or more.  This week is going to crawl.  Our fate is in their hands.

One step forward and two back.

My friend told me I had been through a really long season of drought and now it was my season of rain.  I think it sprinkled for a few days.  I’m so ready for it to pour!

This is like running a marathon uphill with no end in sight.  Sometimes you think you see the finish line and then it disappears.  Along the way, you sprain your ankle, run out of water, get pooped on by a bird, and run way off course having to find your way back…and still no end in sight.  But, you’ve made it so far, so you just have to keep going.  You just can’t fall down and crumple up now.

We’re still in this race, but we’re stumbling along. We need your prayers, your cheers and your encouragement to get though.

Some encouragement I found:

  • “In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins- not through strength but by perseverance.”  -H. Jackson Brown
  • “For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again.”  -Proverbs 24:16
  • “Defeat is simply a signal to press onward.” -Helen Keller

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  • What a great anology. I am so sorry you’ve hit a road block. I hope you’re back to post next week that things are back on track! It’s all too much isn’t it.

  • Jenny

    Thoughts and prayers coming your way.

  • I read your good news with joy and now am so dissappointed with this setback. I really hope they have compassion on you after all you have been through. Sending support and hugs.

  • That is horrible that they would not cover a surrogate under your previous plan. I’m sorry and I hope everything gets sorted out for you soon.

    ICLW #61

  • Amy

    Ick. Sending you best wishes for a happy conclusion.

    I think it’s awful how your refund policy is written.

  • I hope it all works out in your favor!! I cannot imagine how stressed out you must be!

    ICLW #47

  • amy

    hugs!